I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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