hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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