I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
