who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize