it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
