Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
