if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
