Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
