Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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