I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
