they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
