We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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