Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
