She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
