drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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