i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My ATM looks so different sober.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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