the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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