When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
please don't ironically join a cult
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