You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
