I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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