I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
