i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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