What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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