now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
