I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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