If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
