Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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