Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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