saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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