I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
