She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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