I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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