yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
