Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
