I wanna passion pit in your ass
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
