i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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