how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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