I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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