You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
