these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
