I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
