I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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