But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
