i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
