Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We talked him into tasing himself.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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