i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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