end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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