did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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