Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
