Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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